骨灰級！Your Brain Is Hooked on Being Right 你的大腦習於堅持自己是正確的－秀賢小妹love土豆網韓劇線上看(好看的韓劇社區24H)

I'm sure it's happened toyou: You're in a tense team meeting trying to defend your position on a bigproject and start to feel yourself losing ground. Your voice gets louder. Youtalk over one of your colleagues and correct his point of view. He pushes back,so you go into overdrive to convince everyone you're right. It feels like anout of body experience — and in many ways it is. In terms of itsneurochemistry, your brain has been hijacked.

我敢說你有過這種經驗：你在一個氣氛緊張的小組會議上，試圖捍衛你對一個重大專案的立場，但卻開始覺得自己正在節節敗退。你拉高音調。你努力要說服一個同事，並糾正他的觀點。他反駁，所以你變得非常激動，力圖說服大家相信你才是對的。那種感覺就像靈魂出竅的超覺經驗，而在許多方面也確實如此。從神經化學的觀點來說，你的大腦已被劫持了。

In situations of highstress, fear or distrust, the hormone and neurotransmitter cortisol floods thebrain. Executive functions that help us with advanced thought processes likestrategy, trust building, and compassion shut down. And the amygdala, ourinstinctive brain, takes over. The body makes a chemical choice about how bestto protect itself — in this case from the shame and loss of power associatedwith being wrong — and as a result is unable to regulate its emotions or handlethe gaps between expectations and reality. So we default to one of fourresponses: fight (keep arguing the point), flight (revert to, and hide behind,group consensus), freeze (disengage from the argument by shutting up) orappease (make nice with your adversary by simply agreeing with him).

在受到強大壓力、恐懼或不信任的情況下，荷爾蒙和神經傳導素皮質醇會湧入大腦中，這時執行功能（executive functions）就關閉了，這種功能原本可以協助我們進行擬定策略、建立信任和同情等等高階思維過程；這時杏仁核（我們原始本能的大腦）接管了。對於如何最好地保護自己（在此案例中是保護自己免遭羞辱，以及不致因犯錯而喪失權力），身體作了一個化學選擇，其結果是無法調節情緒及處理期望與現實之間的差距。因此，我們訴諸四個反應之一：對抗（繼續主張自己的論點）；逃跑（回到群體共識並隱藏在它後面）；靜止（閉嘴不再爭論）或安撫（向你的對手示好，同意他的觀點）。

All are harmful becausethey prevent the honest and productive sharing of information and opinion. But,as a consultant who has spent decades working with executives on theircommunication skills, I can tell you that the fight response is by far the mostdamaging to work relationships. It is also, unfortunately, the most common.

這些全都有害無益，因為它們阻止了誠實、有效益的訊息與意見的交流。但是，依據我數十年來擔任顧問，協助高階主管提高溝通技能的經驗，我可以告訴你，對抗的反應是對工作關係破壞力最大的，遠超過其他反應。不幸的是，這也是最常見的反應。

That's partly due to another neurochemical process. Whenyou argue and win, your brain floods with different hormones: adrenaline anddopamine, which makes you feel good, dominant, even invincible. It's a thefeeling any of us would want to replicate. So the next time we're in a tensesituation, we fight again. We get addicted to being right.

它有一部分是因為另一個神經化學過程所致。當你爭論並且贏了，你的大腦內會湧入不同的荷爾蒙：腎上腺素和多巴胺，它們會讓你感覺良好、大權在握，甚至覺得自己是無敵的。那是我們每個人寤寐以求的感覺。所以，下一次我們處於緊張狀態時，我們會再次對抗。我們習於堅持自己是正確的。

I've coached dozens ofincredibly successful leaders who suffer from this addiction. They areextremely good at fighting for their point of view (which is indeed often right)yet they are completely unaware of the dampening impact that behavior has onthe people around them. If one person is getting high off his or her dominance,others are being drummed into submission, experiencing the fight, flight,freeze or appease response I described before, which diminishes theircollaborative impulses.

我已指導了數十個極為成功的領導人，他們深受這種癖好之害。他們都非常善於為維護自己的觀點而對抗（他們的觀點確實大多是正確的），但他們完全沒有意識到這種行為會令週遭的人非常洩氣。如果一個大權在握的人高高在上，其他人都被迫屈服就範，經歷上文所敘述的對抗、逃跑、靜止或安撫的回應，這會減少他們合作的衝勁。

Luckily, there's anotherhormone that can feel just as good as adrenaline: oxytocin. It's activated byhuman connection and it opens up the networks in our executive brain, orprefrontal cortex, further increasing our ability to trust and open ourselvesto sharing. Your goal as a leader should be to spur the production of oxytocinin yourself and others, while avoiding (at least in the context ofcommunication) those spikes of cortisol and adrenaline.

幸運的是，還有另一種荷爾蒙，像腎上腺素一樣會讓人感覺良好，那就是催產素。它是由人與人的建立關係所激發的，會開啟我們腦部的執行部位（或稱前額葉皮層）的網絡，進一步提高我們的信任能力，並打開我們的心，願意與人共享。身為一個領導人，你的目標應該是激勵自己和他人產生催產素，同時避免（至少在溝通時）刺激皮質醇和腎上腺素的升高。

Here are a few exercises for you to do at work to helpyour (and others') addiction to being right:  Set rules of engagement.If you're heading into a meeting that could get testy, start by outlining rulesof engagement. Have everyone suggest ways to make it a productive, inclusiveconversation and write the ideas down for everyone to see. For example, youmight agree to give people extra time to explain their ideas and to listen withoutjudgment. These practices will counteract the tendency to fall into harmfulconversational patterns. Afterwards, consider see how you and the group did andseek to do even better next time.

Listen with empathy. In one-on-one conversations, make a conscious effort tospeak less and listen more. The more you learn about other peoples'perspectives, the more likely you are to feel empathy for them. And when you dothat for others, they'll want to do it for you, creating a virtuous circle.  Planwho speaks. In situations when you know one person is likely to dominate agroup, create an opportunity for everyone to speak. Ask all parties to identifywho in the room has important information, perspectives, or ideas to share.List them and the areas they should speak about on a flip chart and use that asyour agenda, opening the floor to different speakers, asking open-endedquestions and taking notes.

Connecting and bonding with others trumps conflict. I'vefound that even the best fighters — the proverbial smartest guys in the room —can break their addiction to being right by getting hooked on oxytocin-inducingbehavior instead.

下面是你在職場上可做的一些練習，以幫助你（和其他人）化解堅持自己正確的癖好：

制訂與會規則。如果你正要去開的會議可能會產生火爆氣氛，那就先訂下與會規則。讓大家提供建議，以便會議的對話是有效益、包容性的，把那些點子寫下來給大家看。例如，你可能會同意讓與會者有額外的時間去解釋他們的想法，並且你只聆聽不作評判。這些做法可防範你們陷入有害的對話模式。會後，看看你和小組做得如何，並設法在下一次做得更好。

設身處地聆聽。在一對一的談話中，有意識地少說話，多聆聽。你愈了解其他人的觀點，就愈有可能對他們的處境感同身受。而且如果你這樣對待其他人，他們也會同樣對待你，從而形成良性循環。

規畫由誰發言。如果你知道某人可能支配一個團體，就創造機會讓大家都能發言。要求各方確認，在會議室內誰有很重要的資訊、觀點或想法要分享。在活動掛圖上列出這些人和他們應該談論的領域，並以之做為你的議程；讓不同的人發言，詢問可自由回答的問題，記筆記。

和他人建立關係與密切合作勝過衝突。我發現，即使是最優秀的鬥士（會議室內眾所周知地最聰明的人），也可以破除他們堅持自己是正確的癖好，作法是改而習於由催產素誘導的行為。